Don Cheadle Stared Me Down! And Other Awkward Acting Stories | Ep 51

MAX: 00:12
Welcome back to Two Unemployed Actors. I'm Max. I'm Sam. Big show today. I get to talk a bit about uh my favorite television show at the moment. Uh Life on Set, as of a couple of days ago. And and more. Sammy.

SAM: 00:25
Exciting. What's been happening? Yeah, well, gymming. Jimming a lot. Jim. Jim a lot. Jess and I signed up at a new gym.

MAX: 00:31
Uh-oh. You got health insurance just in case, you know.

SAM: 00:35
But no, like I I needed a bit of a kick in the back and uh that dive club audition. Oh, I didn't I didn't talk about the podcast.

MAX: 00:43
You had to go to an audition that involved a lot of jumping up and down. Oh, tell about now.

SAM: 00:47
Talk about now. So I had an audition for uh TV series called Dive Club, and it's shooting in Queensland. I told you off podcast last week, hadn't said it on podcast. Anyway, so the the you know it's kind of I do listen to you. Uh yeah. Sometimes even on standard so yeah. It's like kind of that um you gotta they want the modely kind of buff type kind of guy.

MAX: 01:08
The beach body. Yeah, yeah.

SAM: 01:10
It's like it's a bit if anyone watched H2 Adjusted Water, it's not mystical, but it's like that sort of teen drama Aussie kind of thing. Uh a bit like um Out of Banks, I'm guessing, as well, which is a US TV series new one. So that's cool. So I that inspired you that gave me a kick in the back and well I it was exercising casually still, but I used to go to the gym a lot more and now I've gotten back into it. And yes, I needed that kick in the back, and I'm so glad it did. Okay. Um but yeah, so I've Jess and I have signed up at the gym and we've been going quite often. So that's that's good.

MAX: 01:43
And it's good you both can sign up the same place so you sort of keep you keep you both honest with your goals of getting there at least once a week.

SAM: 01:48
Exactly. And and you f I feel better and I feel more confident, and confidence helps with acting and stuff. And it's the interesting thing is I'm proud of myself as well, because like the first audition is getting an audition. Yes. Getting through that stage. There's thousands of people who apply. So I I actually messaged my agent and he said, um he said, I'll put you forward, but they're looking for this model you say type. Have you got any of fo any photos like that? Sent him all the photos I had with like shirt off and all this stuff. Take your pick. Yeah, and he sent it through and he came back to me and he was like, You've got Ben Parkinson interested. Oh, good. You have an audition. I'm like, f now I need to get in shape. So now I'm like, oh fucking. That's a huge kick up the bum, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But so so that's great. And you know, even if I don't get this one got in front of Ben Parkinson's. You're on the radar, which is amazing. Totally. And it you don't try you don't start getting in shape when you get an audition for someone fit. You gotta stay that way so when it comes up. And so I'm gonna, you know, obviously stick with that. And that's good. We've started it that so that's cool. Had an audition for a web series as well. Okay. Um, at Afters. There's a few more web series happening nowadays. It's a mini series. It's good, it's good. Little low budget mini series. Uh but it's an afters graduation one. Jess and I also both both auditioned for that. It was it was really cool and really natural. We showed Grant today and he loved it as well, which is a great conference booth. So we'll hear back from them hopefully soon. Yeah. Yeah, just uh everything's picking up a little bit. It's not as much as normal, but it's yeah, obviously, as you know, still getting there. You've been on set more than me recently.

MAX: 03:17
I have, yeah. Tuesday was the fifth time. There was a few corporate jobs, uh, television commercial, and back on Deadly Women on Tuesday. Yes, tell us about that. The offer came through, and I said to the agent, absolutely would love to work with them again. Uh, American homicide detective in investigating a murder, because it is Deadly Women. Yes, Californian. So you had to do an American accent. Yes. Although I think they're gonna dub it because we weren't individually wired, it was just a boom in the corner on a tripod.

SAM: 03:47
So someone else's voice.

MAX: 03:49
I have a feeling. Oh my god. Uh at least I walk into the room knowing that. It's not like, oh my god, you were so bad, Max, that you're gonna have to be dubbed. You have to be dubbed, yeah.

SAM: 03:56
Don't worry, you're gonna be dubbed anyway. Maybe they just they just tell you that in case.

MAX: 03:60
Maybe. Well, I I think I I felt really safe because I know thanks, Fred. There was a hotspot in in Mossman, because we're filming at a house in in Mossman in Sydney, and uh there was a hotspot in the area. So they're basically you walk up, you have to check in with the covert guru. The covert guru has a 1.5 meter stick, which I call a stick of truth. Correct. And you don't want to be hit with that because you're in trouble, yeah. And masks, you get a little baggie with your name on it, you put your mask in. Okay. And very covet-friendly, and and then there's a list of places that are hot spots currently on the door, and you've got to make sure you weren't in any of those, and you've got to read those and sign your name and blah blah. And then the covert guru roams to make sure that everyone's spaced apart. If no one, not everyone needs to be in the room, come out, wait, and then get called in when you're needed. If you're rehearsing a scene, the stick of truth comes out. Can you be 1.5 meters apart? And then, you know, away we go. So look, I felt really safe. It was really cool, really professional. Um, mask wearing all around everyone, unless you're outside and you're one half meters away, you can take your mask off. Obviously, I had to take it off to do the scene because it was pre-COVID, 2005, I think it was set. So but uh look, it was great. I felt really safe. Everything's still deadly women, it's still moving really fast. I'll tell you what though, remember that story I told you last year when I was I had a lead in Deadly in a Deadly Women shoot. Same director, yeah, same DP. Wow, and I had issues with the mobile phone. There was extra because I'm holding it and it was in the nightclub and I'm taking a call. I was like, Max, we can't see the phone via hand. You know, can't see your face for the phone. Then it was the phone's too far from your face, and I don't know what happened. I was just it was just out of I was out of the anyway. Clearly Katie did you clearly Katie didn't mind because she invited me back to be police detective, and guess what? Phone scene. I said, Katie, do you remember? She's like, No, what was I? Was I too demanding or something? I said, No, it definitely was not you. It was me just having a like there was one where I was actually holding it out too far, and she's like, just that stopped, that just looks ridiculous.

Speaker 2: 05:58
Why are you holding it there? I don't know. That's so funny.

MAX: 06:01
And then so, of course, I'm a detective answering the phone and doing all my dialogue on the phone. And of course, being deadly women, okay, it's it's it's it's it's a minimal budget, it's fast. Um, so you've got to turn up and know your shit. So I've obviously the lines are one thing. You you go through how you would block that that conversation on the phone and write on the note, hand the note to the guy, yeah, let's get the undercover out there now, whatever, blah blah blah, blah, blah, blah. Because then it happens where the director walks across and goes, look, that's not that interesting. Say this, then you say that, and you say that. Okay, we're ready, rolling out. It's that quick, and you just gotta be in the zone. So you've got to your base is knowing what you should be doing. Yeah, okay. So you can build on that. And the more you've done that, the more you can relax in the moment. Because I've worked with others in those, not on, not this week, but in in scenes with deadly women who are like, oh my god, but then we've got to remember what we say because then they've got to do the master shot and they're gonna and then you're relaxed. And by the time I said relax, we're rolling and we're on, you know what I mean? So you've got to be willing to be a bit flexible and sort of roll with it a bit. Very and yes, when you're blocking in the phone, be savvy about where you're saying what and when, because you've got to do the master and the two close-ups and blah blah blah.

SAM: 07:03
Yeah, sure.

MAX: 07:04
But look, it went really well. Great crew, worked with them before, love it. We'll happily work with them again. Always good, whether I'm dubbed or not. I don't care. I want to be a cowboy. Oh no. I'm I seriously, I've watched Yellowstone, uh series one, series two, series three. I'm googling when series four is coming out. I'm like, I am so hooked, such great characters. My dad's watching that as well. That makes me feel old. Yeah, appreciate that. Cheers. You love saying that don't you? Son of a bitch. So I uh Yellowstone, so I want to be a cowboy. It looks oh my god, it's just so cool. I'm even listening to some country in Western.

SAM: 07:41
Yeah. I I That's one of my guilty pleasures is country.

MAX: 07:45
It's no longer guilty. I think I grew up on a farm, but I I spent 18 months on a farm. Yeah, I'm good at feeding goats. That's great. Um I'm yet to see a goat in Yellowstone, but I'm confident. I could ride a horse. You can play. Although I'll be up there with my helmet on and Jodpas and RM Williams rather than the Cole Cowboy look, but I'm sure that that that'll be okay.

SAM: 08:05
You can be riding the goat. That will be you.

MAX: 08:07
That's a different moody altogether.

SAM: 08:09
I'm riding the goat.

MAX: 08:12
Well I'll tell you who else loves watching Yellowstone. Freddy. Correct. It's got buffalo, it's got horses, it's got dogs, it's got people fighting, it's got children, it's got all the things that he loves to bark at. Literally, he got the first couple episodes, he was at the TV like he could see it rocking. I'm like, I'm gonna go to strap the TV down because he just flies at it.

Speaker 2: 08:29
Oh my god.

MAX: 08:30
And then he's standing there and he won't move, and he's just watching the horses coming and going, and everything like that mate. So it took two episodes to train him to calm up to calm the hell down so that I could actually get through because there I am at night watching on my little mobile phones, his headphones. Yeah. Because this little guy. So we got there in the end, Fred and I, and uh I mean he's pretty tough, but like we walk around Centennial Park and he sees a horse, he doesn't say a thing. So I suppose it's different, it's not in his not in his house.

SAM: 08:55
Yeah, yeah, he can he can do that.

MAX: 08:56
So I want to be a cowboy on Yellowstone, that'd be great if I can get a role. I know they're filming like now, but you know, in Montana, not quite there. Uh I could I could be a cowboy.

SAM: 09:06
Yeah, 100%. I can see it. I've also got I've got a uh uh a role in kind of like a online kind of commercial thing uh next week. Okay. So that was cool. That was through. So you remember the weird audition that I had with that director who didn't know how to direct actors, wanted us for the short film. The producer on that, who ended up kind of agreeing with us because she contacted me.

MAX: 09:34
Is that how weird it was?

SAM: 09:34
Yeah. So she said, Don't worry, she's not part of this project, but I'd like you to catch it.

MAX: 09:38
Imagine that you have to sell the project by saying this person is not a part of it.

SAM: 09:41
Yeah, I know, I know, exactly. She was like, Was she really that bad? It must have been. If I saw it in the audition, and and the producer, obviously.

MAX: 09:48
Yeah, yeah, exactly.

SAM: 09:49
So she was like, um she's not involved in this, don't worry, but do you want to do you want to be part of I would like you for this one? So I was like, awesome, sure, why not? Um that sounds cool. And I'm also I've been asked to do can you Frederick's just trying to get in between you and the mic again. Stop it, mate.

MAX: 10:07
Um, he's not pressing the crickets this time, so he obviously likes your stories this week. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SAM: 10:13
That was so funny. So the uh I also got uh like just a little role in a short film. Okay. Um a friend got me that he suggested me, which is really cool. You just know people and I guess you start.

MAX: 10:22
That's what happens, you get out there, you get off your ass, get out there, it makes you happen.

SAM: 10:24
And he knows my acting, he was in a musical with me. Uh but he wants so I'm playing a driver uh who just says one line, yells this one line uh towards this girl, and like wheel spins and drives off. And I'm so excited. That's my gonna be my. And you actually do get to drive, it's not on a rig or anything, it's all awesome.

MAX: 10:41
I don't think they can afford the best cars in the world to drive are ones that don't belong to you.

SAM: 10:45
So yeah, because then yeah, you know what? Insurance.

MAX: 10:48
They might need a new set of tires on the back of it after the wheel spin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's awesome.

SAM: 10:52
I hope I can I hope like that's what it's written in the script, but I hope I can actually do it. Like it's not just like, no, you just drive away. It's like no, I'll do a short spin.

MAX: 11:00
I'll put the handbrake, I'll drift in. I hate you if you stalled it or something. Oh especially if it's automatic. It'd be a bit difficult.

SAM: 11:06
Yeah, I don't know if it's if you can stall an automatic.

MAX: 11:09
I accidentally broke something. Yeah.

SAM: 11:12
How did you stall an automatic?

MAX: 11:14
Hell of a burnout though. Jeez. Oh my god.

SAM: 11:16
Yeah, so that's all cool. That's good. So it's still happening. Yeah.

MAX: 11:19
And you're still checking with Grant with your acting, taking up a level.

SAM: 11:23
We had Grant this morning. Um and just everything's improving. Everything's in such a good space.

MAX: 11:28
Isn't it good when it comes to getting people go, oh, I'm so lucky it's coming together. No, not luck. You're working hard. It's hard. I hate that. Get on it. No, it's because you put the work in over the years that you're able to be in this position where you can leverage opportunities.

SAM: 11:40
But then getting roles, it's a little bit of luck. Like that's a little bit of luck. Right, that's my time. But you've got to work to be able to get in the room first.

MAX: 11:46
Hustle, hustle.

SAM: 11:47
The whole thing is getting there first. Yes. 100%. You know, there are thousands of actors between the ages of whatever you are. And I'm not towards my time. Towards my age, they start to die.

MAX: 11:57
Yeah, it starts to die now. Max is probably the only one.

SAM: 11:60
That's why they have to go to him for voiceovers. They have to do it.

MAX: 12:03
We want someone who sounds 60 even though he's 44 and can have a 20-year-old child on screen. I'm still not over that. I was telling someone today. I saw you on television on the road. Don't want to talk about it.

SAM: 12:14
I want to see it. Where is it?

MAX: 12:15
I haven't seen it. I'm on uh all my friends tell me I haven't even I've been watching telly. It's not like I'm not trying. Yeah, it's weird when you want to try and tape it so that I can use it.

SAM: 12:24
Yeah, that reminds me of a story when I was in year n year eight at school. Um I was in my music class and we were putting on YouTube on the screen so we could watch uh video for studying. And the ad just before the video was my Foxtel commercial that I've just done. And everyone's like, hey, it's Sam, and I'm like, oh no. And the teacher just pauses it. She pauses it and say, hey.

MAX: 12:49
How often would that happen? That's fantastic. Why that video? So you decided to stand up anyway and take some applause. Took a bow. Yep, yep. That's awesome.

SAM: 13:00
Yeah, that was for it was a great thing.

MAX: 13:02
And then said, could you just pause it again and then rewind it? That'd be great.

SAM: 13:05
Yeah. It was actually it came up on YouTube quite a bit to be honest. Because it was Foxtel and they could pay for all that stuff. Alright. But yeah, that was cool. That was fun.

MAX: 13:11
Well, I've I I had some good news. Uh the play that never was, which was lipstick. Yes, lipstick. Oh, well done. You do listen to what I say. I take everything back I said about you.

SAM: 13:20
I guessed. Almost, almost.

MAX: 13:22
Um, good guess. No, it's supposed to be March, April, obviously, with COVID. So uh been confirmed. It's happening, it's moving forward. We'll be a part. The festival's sort of split in two, so there's less pressure. Instead of having like eight theatres running at the same time for weeks, it'll sort of all be run out of one certain theatre, I think, where they can social distance and still have maximum capacity. So everyone gets a decent audience and you can make a bit of coin. Bless you, Fred. So um, yeah, so that that's which is great news. Timing up in the air, but you know, early next year, so to speak. So it's just got confirmed this week. I'm so excited. Yeah. Yeah. Really excited. Amazing. Because to to to go to an independent theatre and to be able to social distance and still get the right amount and all the rest of it, and to put to put this festival forward. I mean, kudos to the organisers.

Speaker 2: 14:09
Yeah.

MAX: 14:09
It's fantastic. Because really, they've organized things three times now. They've organized this festival three times for the benefit of one.

Speaker 2: 14:15
Oh god.

MAX: 14:16
And there I was in rehearsals in an audition, jokingly saying it's a really good, you should do that more than once a year. And they're like, Yeah, yeah, well, whoops.

SAM: 14:23
Yep, there we go. It's happening.

MAX: 14:25
It's not my fault. There's a plague though. I didn't curse it, did I? Maybe. Anyway, so all still happening. I don't either. But I still say break a leg.

Speaker 2: 14:33
I know.

SAM: 14:34
No, no, break a leg's fine. But like jinxing, like when it's like, oh, I feel good about this one. It's like, fuck off, I can say that. I feel good. You want to look at a movie audition going, I feel really good. Yeah. Oh, you jinxed it, you're not gonna get it now. Like, shut the fuck up.

MAX: 14:45
Uh no, yeah. Just go straight into the straight into the next project.

SAM: 14:56
I saw Hugo weaving yesterday. Did you? Yeah, he was at Fox Studios. There we go. There's a story. Brilliant. He was because we're so I went to Fox Studios for my brother's uh birthday. We just like had a chill day playing bowling. Nice. Yep. I want bowling, by the way.

MAX: 15:11
It's his birthday. Let the boy win. Anyway.

SAM: 15:13
I can't let him win. He's 15 now. Um and we were just walking around Fox Studios and we saw Hugo weeping and he was just eating alone at a table. Oh, that's awesome. And we were like, we were like, we should just do like matrix sound effects or something. Oh no.

MAX: 15:25
So that was funny. But did you go up and say good day?

SAM: 15:28
No, because I didn't want to bother him. You know what I mean? Like, no, it's awkward, isn't it? He was just minding his own business. I feel like I'd hate that. Okay. Not at the beginning. At the beginning, I'd like want it.

MAX: 15:36
I've got an embarrassing story. I didn't approach the person. Right, okay. So a few years ago, on my several years ago, because it was on my bachelor tour of America. Uh very different to the one I went on with Emma. Yeah. Uh that relationship R.I.P. And uh, but no, I'm friendship though? Well, yeah, friendship. Just relationship wise. Uh oh, yeah. Very simple. Romantic, but very that's a reveal to what it's been months.

SAM: 15:59
I think it is, actually, yeah. It is, you haven't said why wouldn't it come up in the.

MAX: 16:03
You really don't want to advertise the fact that you just broke up in time for a global pandemic. I mean, it's kind of I mean I'm nearly single in a world of social distancing. I mean, like, fuck you, God. Like, seriously. Anyway.

SAM: 16:14
And you guys were together for a while.

MAX: 16:15
Nine years. I know. Is she waiting for listen? No tears, no overanalysing. Back to the story. Yep. Bachelor tour. I just I just unpacked hotel in Santa Monica. Yeah. Uh, three days ahead of me in LA. I thought, you know what? I feel good. Let's let's go get some uh get some grub. I asked the concierge to book me, because it's me, there's a concierge at the hotel, uh, booked me in a lunch for for Uno for one, down the road at uh some, I don't know, apparently it's a fancy restaurant, and you can see Santa Monica Beach everything anyway. I just wanted some decent feed and relax, nice wine, you know, old man stuff.

SAM: 16:50
Yep.

MAX: 16:50
And uh I bought the paper, literally. I'm old man.

SAM: 16:54
I've got I'm old man on the side, I swear to God.

MAX: 16:56
Walked in and uh anyway, I've sat down, they put me in the corner towards the front, which is a nice spot, nice spot, you know, well done. And sitting with the paper, and I'm getting you know, entree and nice wine, and I'm relaxing, I'm going, this is the start to a great holiday, you know. Oh no. And uh look up and Don Cheadle sits down. Oh wow two tables away, facing me. He's there with two women who were facing each other. So literally, I'm I'm looking at Don, the Don, Don. And uh so anyway, I'm just looking, I'm like, Oh, that guy's me. Oh yeah, that's right from such a remember, this is. Bachelor Tour. Well, I see the last holiday I went to America, I took Emma. Yes, because we were together, and it'd be rude not to. And the one before that was years before. I think we're talking 2010 even. And it was just me, and it was just Bachelor Tour of East Western Western America. Yeah, okay, got it. The West Coast, as I say. So I um I'm sitting there and like anyway, anyway, I'm reading the paper and I'm thinking, what the hell am I gonna do tomorrow? Maybe I'll just sleep in till whenever. And then I realize I'm in my trance, like I'm just thinking and thinking, I realize, oh my god, I'm just looking directly at Don Cheadle. He's looking directly at me, and I've been staring at him for however long it's been. Just like this. And I've realized that, and I've just got and as I've realized, he's done this with his eyes. I'm like, oh my god, like really widened his eyes and stared at me like, hello, you what do you want? You know, like he's staring at me. I'm like, I'm like, oh, I just up the paper, head behind the paper for the rest of the meal. No, people are leaving their lunches and going, oh, shaking his hand, you know, great to see you and such and such, whatever, walking off, whatever. He's a great guy. There I was in my trance, thinking about my holiday, you know, cut half a bottle of wine in, nice and relaxed, and then I come to and I'm staring into Don Cheadle's eyes, a little bit uncomfortable, and he's give me the look. It's like champ, you know.

SAM: 18:42
Oh my god.

MAX: 18:43
Like, oh my god. So I hid behind the paper for the rest of the meal.

SAM: 18:46
You hid behind the paper. Yeah. That's hilarious.

MAX: 18:48
So I'm I can I sense your discomfort at interrupting Hugo weaving his meal and multiply it by two. I would never now go and even try. I wasn't even trying. Yeah, I know. I was just stupid. I was just dumb. You were thinking about something else. Yes. Just inadvertently staring at a guy who's used to people staring at him, and he's just like, what are you doing?

SAM: 19:08
You should have stepped back and been like, I'm not staring at you.

MAX: 19:10
That's just make it make it even weirder. I wasn't really looking at you as I was staring at you. As I was staring at you, I was thinking about something else. Like, I mean, that's just even weirder.

SAM: 19:18
Just get be on the top.

MAX: 19:20
Fortunately, he and his party left before I did, so I don't have to walk past him with awkward glances, going, apologies for staring at you. I wasn't really staring at you. I don't know. See? I can't even explain it. It's so bad. Anyway. So, yes, make sure you have a plan when you're staring at someone. I don't even know how to analyze it. It's like analyze it. No, it was an embarrassing story, and being me, you know, is obviously you can name any subject, there'll be an embarrassing story or two. You'll be listening to two unemployed actors. I'm Max. I'm Sam. We will see you next week. Bye.